First Star I See Tonight by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I feel like a big old idiot. I almost didn’t read this book, then I decided I would give it a go and then dnf it. Yep idiot. The reason? I thought it would just be one of those sugary sweet romance books that follow every trope known to man. The truth? This book is full of sarcasm and some lovey-dovey stuff at times…. but I loved each and every second.

It starts with private detective Piper being under-cover with her many disguises. (She really isn’t very good at them) and she gets busted when she is caught following former star quarter back Graham Cooper.
She doesn’t tell him she is following him. She explains that she is off her meds and is stalking him. But that she is harmless.

“I assure you. I’m only a bit of a nutter,” she said breathlessly. “Absolutely harmless. You don’t have to worry about violence.”
“Only that I have a stalker.”
“I don’t want to see you anywhere near me again. Got it?”
“I’m afraid that will be impossible.” She paused. “Until my new medication kicks in.”

She won’t tell him who hired her to follow him and ends up ticking him off. She twists it and ends up getting hired by him to take a look at the security and staff at his new night club.

Piper is a force to be reckoned with though and she gives no crap about who she ticks off with her quest for saving her dead father’s struggling PI business. If it means kicking a big wig star quarterback’s butt..then so be it.

This is a smexy times book and it’s not the usual porny times that I usually go for but dang if I didn’t get the lady boner going for both these characters. (My lady boners usually go something like this)

These two characters have several adventures during this book and every single page made me like both of them more and more. There is even a realistic twist to their ‘first time’ that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in a romance book.
I don’t even know who I am right now because I’m usually more of this type of girl.

And then body bags being brought into play.

I liked this sucker so much that I need to hunt down some of the other books in this series. (PS>this book is completely fine as a stand-alone…even though you are gonna want more.)

The only bad thing about this book is that cover sets the reader up for expecting something that this book is not and this little book deserves better.

Booksource: I received a copy from the publisher on this one. I liked the book anyways.

 

Stroked by Meghan Quinn

I’m late to the party on reading a smexy times book with an athlete in it. Most likely because my idea of exercising would probably go something like this.

Ain’t nobody got time for that. BUT this was a Meghan Quinn book. And I found this.

So I decided I had some time. Kelly and I have decided that Meghan Quinn should be our real life friend but we haven’t stalked her enough yet for it to happen. This chick writes some funny stuff. (Check out The Virgin Romance Novelistand The Mother Road if you don’t believe me)

This story is the story of a production assistant named Paisley who kinda blew her chance at a decent job with a little boo-boo and now her room-mate and best friend Jonathan has gotten her a job as a personal assistant to reality star Bellini Chambers. (Think Kardasians times a million)

Bellini is freaking awful! And of course I loved it. She is the pampered daughter of a guy who made his fortune from getting humped by a pig (I want that whole story!) and money is no object…nor is her be-littling everything and everyone. She has Paisley who she calls Mauve (can’t be bothered with learning her name) feeding her tic-tacs and waiting on her hand and foot.
Bellini is doing a new reality show because she is that giving and lovely, (cough) in the show she is in a relationship with Olympic swimmer Reese King. The public doesn’t know that their relationship is fake. Bellini also keeps herself busy with asking her pampered dog questions about life because he is so close to Jesus. (She is starting a religious clothing line for dogs).

Reese is hawt of course and sets Paisley to drooling as soon as she meets him. He is off limits though because girlfriend needs this job assisting Satan’s mistress.
You know that is not going to last don’t you?

She is tired of seeing the room-mates wanker and needs to branch out on the penis front.
But please note: it’s not God’s gift to all women, it’s not the amazing thing to look at. It’s a rod of skin hanging between your legs. Unless it’s erect, supercharged, and ready to burst, cover that shit up because a flaccid penis is just a soggy meatball sub, balls sagging behind, and hopefully devoid of parmesan cheese.

Amen sister.

So Paisley and Reese are struggling with wanting to do the thangie thing and having to put up with the queen of crazy. WHO BY THE WAY RUINED MY CHEERIO LOVING!
Pope Francis (The dog) prays for them every night, as it’s on his list of sinners, along with chefs, people who live with more than four cats, and individuals who enjoy eating Cheerios-no one should eat a bowl of vaginas.

I loved Paisley and queen Bellini. Reese got on my nerves at times with his over the top Alpha male stuff but it’s a fun ride to see if he wins the girl, the gold metal and does he escape Bellini’s clutches?

I buddied up with my friend Kathleen to read this one. She leads me into smexy time books more often than not. 😀

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review

Marked in Ink by Megan Massacre

This book is very, very pretty. So pretty in fact that my mean butted husband has laid claim to it.
The pages in this one are super thick and don’t have printing on the back so that you can tear out the pages and display your masterpieces.

If you don’t have a book hogging husband.

The cover has the fuzzy kind of feel and it just so pretty.

(Excuse the crappy photos that you will encounter in this review. My phone totally sucks.)

If sugar skulls are your thing you will love this one. This one of of the prettys.

(They totally look better than that in real life)

It has a tattoo to color that advertises the fact that you might get sorta stabby at times. (I NEED this one)

It goes mermaidy.

Then fairyish.

It even has one for my friend Dan 2.0 to practice up his skills with before becoming that butterfly collecting serial killer that he so admires from the last book I read.

Then if you get tired you can always fall back on old faithful after watching too many cat videos.

Booksource: Blogging for books in exchange for review.

The Butterfly Garden by Dot Hutchinson

Suppose you woke up and wasn’t at home? You are in a very strange new place. You are disoriented from being drugged and then a girl with a huge butterfly tattoo on her back tells you that this is your new home. A garden that is overseen by The Gardener. The Gardener has chosen you to be one of his “Butterflies.”
Before we go farther let’s discuss what exactly that means. The Gardener is a sick, sick man. He captures women and brings them to this garden so that he has his own little weird harem. He rapes them whenever he feels like it, tattoos their backs as another way of making them his, oh and as an added bonus? If they piss him off, get pregnant, turn the age 21 or any other multitude of sins…he kills them and places them is a resin case so that he can still admire his butterfly collection.

Now the FBI has came in and stomped his little dream life. The story is told by one of the “Butterflies” as she is being interrogated about the whole shebang. The girl Maya grew up pretty rough so the FBI agents aren’t exactly sure how much truth they are getting from her especially as she seems to like provoking one of them. She does tell her story though and this part of the book is fascinating.

Her voice tells her story even before the garden and I became attached to her character. The author makes you become attached to all of these girls and their stories. Even my cold heart hurt at some of their fates.

Then the Gardener’s two sons get involved with play time. One is a nutjob and one is a bit more sensitive. I thought they both were jerks and had a hard time finding any belief in the good one especially after the way he wanted to be daddy’s boy.

Daddy is a turd.

There is soooo much to discuss in this book but I don’t want to spoil. It’s very readable since I’ve been book slumping and haven’t wanted to read a thing for weeks. I finished this in almost one sitting.

But.

There were some things that just didn’t add up. I usually don’t post any spoilers for books intentionally but this one is driving me batty. I wanted to give this sucker all five stars just because it made my dark heart beat faster..but some funky stuff happened.

Don’t hit the spoiler thingie if you are going to whine about me spoiling.
(view spoiler)

I want people to read this one and discuss..because I’m frustrated and have some blue balls! (That does NOT mean I want trolls to come here and tell me how stupid I am.)

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review.

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

Blake Crouch is a very tricky guy. *Warning-this is a mostly gif review because I have no clue on how to review it without spoiling.*

You really can’t review his books without giving them away. A buddy and I were talking about him last night, it feels like HE isn’t even sure where the story is going. But you better hang on because it’s always a bumpy ride.

This one starts out just like a normal book. (I’m not spoiling for this part) Jason Dessen is just an average guy. He is married to his long time love, has a teenage son, isn’t really rich, his life would be classified more around average. Then he gets taken at gunpoint and taken to an abandoned warehouse and injected with a drug.

When he wakes up his whole life has changed…and it’s some freaky stuff.

I don’t know how much of the sciencey stuff is correct, but who cares? I couldn’t put this book and it FELT real…and it’s so very good.

You are going to have to read it to find that out.