Monthly Archives: November 2016

Red Blooded American Male by Robert Trachtenberg

Red-Blooded American Male by Robert Trachtenberg

My friend Sandra posted a little tease of this book this morning. She posted a pic of Neal Patrick Harris.
Wet.
In a tub.

I realized I had this book and ran to open the sucker so I could READ it. Yes, I read it. I didn’t just look at it “for the pictures.”
Whatever.

Actually, this book is freaking beautiful.
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Not only that…Trachtenberg writes little snippets of stories that go with the photos.
Like this one…
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This was for Rolling Stone’s “Hot” issue. It seemed absurd to do anything where we tried to make Rudd look deliberately “hot.” His ‘hotness’ comes effortlessly. He agreed we should mock the whole notion of “hot.” He agree to get in the bed. He agree the boxers were getting in the way and dropped them. Months later, he sent me a nice note saying friends had seen the photo on the walls of gay bars across America and he couldn’t be more proud.

Mama likey.

Trachtenberg took this one of Nick Offerman and Chelsea Handler:
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They had never met before this photo. I’m still haunted by Offerman’s final words to me before he dropped his pants. “Please. Be gentle with me.”

I want a copy of this book. I don’t give a damn that it is forty frigging dollars. It’s one that must be held in your hands. It’s one that I could completely post every frigging photo and story that goes with it..but that’s spoilery. I’ll behave. I’m writing the name of this book on a slip and putting it in my husband’s wallet right now. I hope it comes wrapped. Because I can tell him it’s educational.

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I can’t find some of the images I wanted to show in this review…so I’m ticked off and I’m going to go look at this book some more.
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Booksource: Netgalley and publisher in exchange for review

PS! I totally just got my greedy little hands on a hardcover of this book. It’s even more beautiful than I imagined.

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Skinnytaste Fast and Slow by Gina Homolka

Skinnytaste Fast and Slow by Gina Homolka

I’ve sorta followed Gina’s blog SkinnyTaste for several years. Everything that I’ve made of her recipes has always been a pretty much hit or near hit..so when I saw this cookbook the drooling started. Plus, since starting the new job I have no time for reading or cooking..and that slow cooker part of the book sounded like pure win.
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Drool worthy isn’t it?
And these recipes aren’t as fat padding as the stuff I normally cook. I don’t get the evil eye from the husband and boy child because her recipes really are good enough that you don’t know you are eating somewhat healthy.

This is an eggroll bowl without having to spend a thousand hours rolling those suckers up. Why did I never think of that??
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Another simple idea that I never thought of that I’m totally eating up.
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As I was reading this book I was telling the husband all the goodies that I was promising to make and probably never will. I noticed the looks from one of the other creatures in the house.
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I’m thinking she approves.

(Disclaimer: I totally made the roasted acorn squash and we hogged it up too fast to get a pic.)

Booksource: I received a copy of this book in exchange for review.

ETA: My normal image sharing site won’t work for me for some reason. I’m sorry these are so crappy.

Desperation Road by Michael Farris Smith

Desperation Road by Michael Farris Smith

In the southern Mississippi swamp you can watch the world awaken as the pale yellow sun edges itself between the trees and moss and wide winged cranes. Dragonflies buzz and raccoons come out of their dens and crawl along fallen trees. Turtles situate themselves onto stumps that will later become sun-soaked and hidden things slide beneath black water with murderous patience and skill.

That passage sets the tone of this book. I know one a few of my friends (Dan 2.0) would totally read this book wrong and swear it was full of purple prose. He reads everything wrong so…..

Russell Gaines is being released from prison after eleven years. He admits to and is carrying the guilt of his crime.
He had seen the worst of men and he wanted there to be punishment for that so that he could feel like he was different from them.
Russell gets met at the bus station on his first day out by the brothers of the man that he killed. Russell doesn’t get many breaks in life.

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Don’t get all the tissues out yet though, because Russell is not the perfect man. He still boozes up every-time he gets behind the wheel and that made me kinda eye-twitchy. (It was perfect for this story though..so what do I know?)

He finds himself driving around trying to clear his mind after his friendly welcome home and ends up at a backwoods road where a local deputy has been shot. Then as life would have it he meets the woman on the run that is carrying that deputies gun.
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The woman had the look of someone who might have been used to it but the was concern in her voice. He had heard the sound from men who knew what tomorrow would bring and knew there was nothing they could do about it.

This is completely my kind of story. Dark as my hateful old heart. I likey.

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review.

Everything You Want Me to Be by Mindy Mejia

Everything You Want Me to Be by Mindy Mejia

Mom warned me that I had a lot to learn about the world. I wished she would’ve mentioned how much the learning was going to hurt.

This book was perfection..for me anyways.
It’s one of those that you know you should look away from but it wraps it’s twisted little story around your mind and you just can’t look away.
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Hattie Hoffman is in high school and has always been one of the top of the food chain girls. She gets the leads in the drama plays, she has the best friend that adores her, she has parents that would move the earth for her.
But girlfriend..it’s all a farce.

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Hattie is whoever she thinks someone wants her to be. She acts the role of the perfect student, daughter..yada yada.
But what does she really think and feel?

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This is not a spoiler since it’s the whole basis of the book..so don’t whine. Hattie is found brutally murdered in a small town barn. Who would have hurt everyone’s princess?

You get to find out. The book is told by several viewpoints including Hattie’s. She is a controlling little shit..but for some dang reason I actually liked her.
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Hattie dreams of leaving small town life because she is so much better than that. (She is a pretentious little shit but that’s beside the point.) She is all over a website that features theater life in New York, because she knows she is going to be bigger than life one day. On that site she finds someone who really ‘gets her’…and then finds out it’s the new high school English teacher. Who is married.
He really tries to put some distance between them when he finds out that it’s Hattie who he is talking with, but Hattie is not that easily distanced.

She even thinks of the perfect way to hide their affair. She’ll just be the girlfriend of that dumb football player.
If I was a normal girl with normal dreams, I would have been giddy about Tommy Kinakisis hesitant touch. I would have giggled over him with all my girlfriends and pulled him closer instead of ducking my head and turning away. I would have been so much simpler and I took a moment to mourn for what I could never be. No matter how well I played the part, I would never become the role.

This is Lolita for 2016 on steroids. ALL THE STARS!!

She had multiple personalities; it was the only explanation. She was dangerous, calculating, diabolical, and..brilliant. She was fucking brilliant.

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review

Stroked Hard by Meghan Quinn

Stroked Hard by Meghan Quinn
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When I read the first book in this series Stroked we were introduced to the main characters in that book. I liked them but there was that friend that I was dying for more of.
Hollis.

Meghan Quinn brought him to the table in this book.
Hollis sees Melony and immediately knows that she is his forever woman. She just doesn’t see it. Because Hollis has an ego bigger than four states and Melony has some abandonment issues.

Hollis decides she is worth sticking it out for and figures he is going to “Noah Calhoun” her ass to death until she professes her undying love for him.
(If you don’t know who Noah Calhoun is..run right now and correct that mistake. I’ll wait.)

The thing about Hollis though, he ain’t just sugary sweet. The boy can’t seem to keep his mouth shut for nuthin.

“Observing my cock while I’m diving, nice. Don’t worry, sugar tits, what you see isn’t at all what you get. That’s just a third of the prize. This dude has cock.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. “Oh my God, who even says that?”

I’m totally in love.
He even has a chihuahua!
Normally, little dogs are yappy little fucks, not Taco. He’s older, more mature, at least that’s what I like to tell people. I don’t bother saying he’s the laziest dog ever. Fetch? Yeah, he doesn’t know what that is. Whenever I try to play, it turns into Taco pushing the ball and me chasing it. How the fuck that happens, I have no clue. But I refuse to play anymore; it’s demeaning to me.

Then you have the sex scenes. All I can say is you might end up in this state after reading this one.

I want to hoard this book for myself. I will let you read it if you promise not to fall in love with my book boyfriend. (WhoKelly tried to claim.)

He’s too cocky, too arrogant when he talks, always joking about my boob somehow falling in his mouth. That’s not intimate. That’s just…perverted.

Tijuana Donkey Showdown Tijuana Donkey Showdown by Adam Howe

Tijuana Donkey Showdown by Adam Howe

Reggie Levine has had an adventuresome life. I’ll give him that. He got his knocks in as a former boxer and then there was that bit of trouble that happened in Damned Dirty Apes. He has now sorta pissed through any money that came his way and is working as a bouncer in in bar. Living his legend of the his fame.
Nicolas Cage played yours truly, sporting a mullet that made his “Con-Air”-‘do seem conservative, even though I haven’t styled my hair like that since the nineties.
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Reggie finds himself beginning to head down that ‘what the hell’ road again after he rescues the local user car salesman from having himself flushed in the toilet.
He then takes a job from that used car salesman rescuing his wife’s priced pooch from a roadside attraction stand.

Because… It all started with a chupacabra.
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It always does Reggie..it always does.

Reggie finds himself become besties real quick with a well endowed donkey.
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That image was for you Kelly!
My watch remained dangling from Enrique’s johnson like a ticking cock-ring. He could keep it. Under the circumstances, I’m sure Nic Cage would’ve understood.
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Booksource: I received a copy of this book from the author. I don’t remember him asking me for anything in return. I live in the boondocks though so I may send him a photo of the neighbors donkey.

Bait by J. Kent Messum

Bait by J. Kent Messum

Kids, if you ever thought about trying drugs grab up this book. You’ll run so far away from them that you will leave your butt-hole behind.

Six heroin addicts find themselves unconscious on a deserted island. They start waking up and realize that something ain’t right here. They have a box left with a few food items and a note that says that must swim to the next island in order to get that ever elusive next high.
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Stone cold addicts that they are..you know they are gonna get to jonesing and head off that way.

Problem number one is…there is something in the water.
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They are also informed that they are being watched.
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This book reads all kinds of fast, you keep thinking surely the characters won’t trade in their lives so easily for that next hit.
But.
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Booksource: I did receive a copy of this book from the author, I promised him nothing. He knew I would love the hell out of this sickness. AND I DID!

Far Afield by Shane Mitchell

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The author and the photographer for this book have traveled the world on assignments for food and travel publications, they decided to branch off and do a book of their own thing. I’m so glad they did. This book is flipping amazing.

(Fair warning: My camera on my phone totally sucks and does these images no justice-but I wanted to give everyone an idea of how gorgeous this book is)

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This book made my foodie heart beat faster, but food is only part of the journey. You get stories that go along with where you are in the world and tidbits of another life.

Like how refugees are sharing their last coffee or tea..because they believe everyone should have something.
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PS. Sometimes I really do cook some of the recipes in the cookbooks that I drool over. Here is some spiced okra (I added squash too…because)
*also taken with my crappy phone*

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Booksource: I received a copy of this book in exchange for review from the publisher.