Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Eleanor Oliphant..I love you.

Eleanor lives a pretty solitary life. She really doesn’t understand people. She spends most of her time alone in her apartment, reading interesting books and having her Wednesday afternoon phone calls with “Mummy.”

She is fine with that. Along with her little treat.
Vodka is, for me, merely a household necessity, like a loaf of bread or a packet of tea.

One day she sees the man that is going to change her life and starts changing things in order to be ready when he realizes he loves her.

Eleanor gets ready to………..

Then she and a scruffy co-worker stumble upon an old man that has passed out and Eleanor’s life begins to change.
But she is still Eleanor…

I loved this book. I thought it was going to make it to one of my favorites.

But then that stupid ending.
That made me almost one star this book.

When are authors going to realize that every book doesn’t have to have a dramatic twist? This book was perfect and deserved so much better. I’m still pissed.

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Crazy Old Lady by Angel Gelique

Crazy Old Lady by Angel Gelique

When I saw the title alone I knew this book was me was going to be good. I have a thing for old peoples, probably because I’m right there with them. We are tired of some young people’s shit. We gonna own the world one day.

If we could remember it.

This little story is packed full of surprises. If you have ever read anything by Angel Gelique you might know that she is one of the sweetest people on Goodreads but you better get ready to read one of her books.

Two neighborhood losers have decided to rob and kill the town’s ‘crazy old lady.’ No one sees her much anymore because she rarely leaves her house. One of them gets bored and leaves. His buddy decides that she is easy pickings and he can get all the loot and snuff her out with no help from anyone.

That works out real well for him.

Never, ever underestimate the old ladies…we will kick your ass.
Especially one like the one in this book-who might be spoiling for some fun times.

 

The Glorious Heresies by Lisa McInerney

The Glorious Heresies by Lisa McInerney

When a strange man breaks into Maureen’s home she does the most logical thing and bops him over the head with a religious statue.

That makes a bit of a mess so she calls her ganster son Jimmy to clean it up. Thus starts the wheels on this book.
Everyone gets involved, either by choice or chance.

Ryan, a fifteen year old drug dealer and his abusive, alcoholic father Tony.
Georgie, the prostitute that lived with the dead guy. She finds herself hiding out in a cult, pregnant and still missing the guy. She can’t stop asking those questions though..
The nosey next-door neighbor who loves to stir the pot. And take advantage of any man or boy when she gets the chance.

I was totally sucked in by the writing and language. I even expected my husband to speak with an Irish brogue at one point when I was knee deep in the book. So my verdict came up with extremely readable for the nosey in us…

But I did feel like at times it drug out and made me want to paint the kitchen.

3 stars.

Booksource: I received a copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for review.

Windfall by Jennifer E. Smith

Windfall by Jennifer E. Smith

3.5 stars

I’m sure most of us have asked ourselves that question. Spent those millions in our heads as we went to sleep dreaming of hitting it big-time. (If I wasn’t so cheap that I never buy tickets..that’s beside the point.)

This story is about that big win really happening. To an eighteen year old boy. It’s Teddy’s birthday and his closest friends Leo and Alice are headed to his birthday party. Alice has been in secret love with Teddy for awhile now…so she buys a card and writes down how she feels. She feels that she needs something to go with it and buys a lottery ticket. Once at the party Teddy opens that card and presently loses it under his fridge. Yep, Teddy is pretty clueless.

Fast forward to the next morning. They realize that ticket was a winning ticket.

One hundred and forty million plus dollars.

Teddy and Alice both have had some hard knocks in life..so you totally are on board with something good happening to these characters.
But then money does change people, no matter how they think it will not.

This was a really cute book. The characters were all like-able..almost to the point where it was over the top.

I mean..dang they are kids. OF course Teddy was going to act a fool with that much money. I’m a whole lot older than he is and I would act a fool. Books for everyone! And Sephora would totally be bought and put in my basement.

I hate when youngun’s try to be more mature than I am. That cost this book a star.

Booksource: From the publisher in exchange for review.

 

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zenter

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

This author wrote one of my all time favorite books…The Serpent King. If you have not read that one just go now. I’ll wait.

So my expectations for this one were pretty high.

And it made me feel like an old hateful woman. I’ll get to why in a bit.

(This is not a spoiler either-so cool your drawers) Carver sent a text to his three best friends. Where are you guys? Text me back
That text is more than likely what caused his friends to be in a fatal accident. So Carver has the guilt. Then he finds out that he may actually face charges of negligent homicide for contributing to their deaths.

I hope no one reading this is still texting and driving. Because it gets me ragey.
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BUT the book is done well in telling the young adult world the dangers of that stuff. It hurts. Jeff Zentner brings hurt to the table like no other young adult author that I’ve ever read.
He writes the feelings that Carver and the remaining family members go through very much in a way that made even my hateful heart break.

Then I kinda got to the point where I felt like my feelings were being deliberately manipulated and I felt like the line got crossed.
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Another thing that really bothered me in this book was the fact that these boys were supposed to be seventeen. Then we get flashbacks (yes, I do know that some of them were years old)..where I felt like they were twelve. I have a teenage boy and have raised two others. I know what dumb-butts they can be..but then they tell the fart jokes and then you have a passage where the main character sounds like an educated adult? I reflect on the mundane rituals, laid end to end, that form a life. We work to make money and then hopefully use that money to buy ourselves memories with the people we love. Simple things that bring us joy.

There was good in this book though, no insta-love and no common tropes. Zentner is way better than that. I’m torn on how to rate this so I’m just going with the middle ground and giving it three stars. I’ll still read anything he writes.
Don’t milk me for tears next go round though.
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Booksource: Netgalley and Crown books in exchange for review.

Burying the Honeysuckle Girls by Emily Carpenter

Burying the Honeysuckle Girls by Emily Carpenter

Althea Bell has come home to Alabama, she is fresh off a stint in re-hab for a drug addiction she has battled her entire life. Once home she is not greeted with open arms. Her dying father is yelling about how she is evil and something about her turning 30. Her snobby sister-in-law and political brother Wynn both loathe seeing that she is home. They inform her that her father’s will specifies that she must go into a mental institute when she turns 30 or she will inherit nothing.

What is it about turning thirty with the women in her family? Several generations of her female relatives have all turned up at the local mental institute called Pritchford once the clock tolls on that birthday..and Althea’s thirtieth birthday is just days away.
She must battle with her addiction and her family’s determination that she needs locked away to find out the secrets her family shelters. (I totally wrote that fancy didn’t I?)

Althea’s battle with trying to prove she is not mentally unstable reads so well that I felt that trapped feeling along with her. She doubts herself at times and the people around her completely think she is borderline of finally crossing the line. What happened to parading our crazy on the front porch in the south is one thing I wondered about. (Not that it really happens-even in my state there is an old mental institute that has been long closed down because of some of the terrors that took place there.)

Anyways…that sinking feeling…
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Then there is a cigar box full of ‘clues’ that her mother left to her the night that she disappeared and later died. Along with the words “Find the honeysuckle girl.”
(That honeysuckle girl part drove me nuts turning pages to find out how it was going to wrap up.)

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The women in Althea’s family all had stories and they didn’t really turn out like they all hoped. The history of how women were treated in the time period made me pretty ragey on their asshole male relatives.
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Overall, this was a decent story that kept me reading. The only faults were that sometimes I felt like it went over the top and the ending wrap up seemed like a carbon copy of too many stories.

Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review.

 

Shacking Up by Helena Hunting

Shacking Up by Helena Hunting

Ruby goes to her best friends sorta engagement party. She goes to the restroom and when she comes out she is kissed by Mr. Hot himself. She finds herself sorta kissing him back. Quit judging the girl. She had some alcohol. His date at the time..Whoreface is all ticked off because she was sure she was going to be hooking up with him. The thing is..he was sick and all doped up on some flu meds.

Ruby gets sick from kissing Mr. Awesome Kisser and ends up upchucking all over the director at her audition. So now she is faced with a few choices. She is losing her apartment so she can be homeless, go running back to her rich daddy, or try and snab a job at her besties fiance’s buddy’s house, house-sitting his pets.
You know who that is don’t you? Yep, and he is a former Rugby playing rich kid too. BUT I will give these few characters something. They are pretty likeable. Ruby doesn’t want to go to Daddy and will almost starve herself to keep from doing so and the hottie himself. (His name is Bancroft) is a pretty decent guy too. I likey.

Now I will admit..some of these characters, including the guy that her bestie is marrying are total douche heads.
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I wanted to punch his face.

But I digress. Ruby gets the job of taking care of Bane’s animals. Now I have the major wants of a new pet..thanks Ms. Author. My husband hates you now.
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Ruby and Bane don’t get the insta-love because he is leaving the country for five weeks and they do some video chatting that kinda had me wanting to mash their body parts together.
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But noooo this sucker is a slow burn. They don’t make the sexy time for a long time. BUT when it finally does happen…
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So..I’m starring this one a four. That’s pretty good in sexy time book. It had some funny parts (always a win) and two characters that I actually really liked.

I may actually start a new religion. The Church of Bane Cock.
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Booksource: Netgalley in exchange for review.

Soux Chef: 24 Hours on the Line by Michael Gibney

Sous Chef by Michael Gibney

I’ve always been fascinated with chefs. I’m a bit stalkerish as I watch or read anything I can get my hands on with them in it.

Rawr! They have food! Good food! And they make the magic and make dishes that I would never dream of. That I don’t have to clean up after.
Not that I can afford to eat in the 75 dollar per person restaurant.
I used to sorta fantasize about doing it myself but the hours are just unreal. Even if I wasn’t an old lady with a million kid. AND I know that all restaurants aren’t dream jobs. They work your butt off for low pay and no compensation.

This book gives you 24 hours in the life of a sous chef. Not the high glamour one that you see on TV. (Thank gawd)..this is the real deal.

You are with him when he goes in that morning to check the coolers.

Then when the pandemonium of service finally begins..you are in the heat of the action. I felt like I needed to be cutting up some vegetables at this point. Really, really fast.

Then when the day ends..there really isn’t much of a break.

I loved this inside look. The author addresses the reader as “you” so you feel like it’s you that observing and participating in this high action world. Now I just wish I could have tasted some of that food.

Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough

Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough

I know you love the internet. I love the internet too.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF HELLO KITTY DON’T GET SPOILED IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO READ THIS BOOK! You know some turd is going to do it…so stay far away from the reviews.

I’m going to try to not spoil nothing but I’ll gif the heck out of the review and annoy half of Goodreads anyways.

These three main characters are not your friend. At least I hope the heck not. They are some selfish, mean ass characters.

Sorry, Janis..these people are both types.

Then they get themselves in a big old hot mess.

But I didn’t care! BECAUSE

And that ending. Hell to the yeah. That was one of the best endings I can remember in awhile.

I almost gave this sucker five stars..but at times it does get overly talky and it has some plot holes bigger than my butt. I don’t give a crap though it was gooooood. 4.5 stars!

The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel

The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel

I would have a totally awesome quote inserted right here. Except for the fact that Kelly ‘the book pusher’ and Mitchell may really share parts of my brain. I checked and she had already stolen them. I’ll let her slide since she threatened me bodily harm if I didn’t hurry up and read this one. Because it’s just pure goodness. (Don’t read this ‘head in the oven’ book and look at us weird. We were already weird to start with.)

This book starts off with fifteen year old Lane after her mother’s suicide. She lives with the neighbor drag queen for a minute before the state steps in and tells her she must have a legal place to go. And guess what? Her long lost grandparents not only will take her. They want her.
So off she goes to rural Kansas and her new home.

Roanoke.

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She is greeted by her cousin Allegra, who has lived with the grandparents since birth. When he mom took off right after her birth. She learns that Roanoke girls either run or they die.
That sounds like the perfect type of girls doesn’t it?
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Gran is there also. She is one of those perfect types that would die if her hair wasn’t in place.
Then the grandfather. Who is described as handsome but I think he is majorly creepy as heck. *shudders*
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I can’t tell you much more because that would make me a spoilery butthole. Just know that this book is family drama times infinity.
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I’m gonna go take a bleach shower now.

Booksource: I received a copy from Netgalley and Crown books. In exchange for review. But really because I have no shame in my begging for a book like this.