Armada by Ernest Cline

Armada by Ernest Cline

I like to think I’m sorta with it as an adult.

I read books that my teenagers like. I run from adult responsibilities. I love some pop culture stuff. I make fart jokes with my tweenish age son.
I’m totally on board with the cool stuff.

Until I met this book.
I absolutely and totally hate it. I know I should make myself finish it since I received a copy as an arc. I’m not doing it. You can’t make me.

I loved Ready Player One so much that it is one of my favorites that I’ve read this year. This sucker is going on top of my most hated for the year.

You have this: My father had drawn circles around the entries for Iron Eagle, Ender’s Game, and The Last Starfighter, then he’d added the lines connecting them all to each other-and now for the first time I finally understood why. All three stories were about a kid who trained for real-life combat by playing a videogame simulation of it.

And that boys and girls is the gist of this book.

Now that really does not sound like the worst book ever. But then you take and put in a pop culture reference in almost every frigging paragraph and it wears on your every loving last nerve in a frucking hurry.
Don’t believe me? This is from the blurb-that I stupidly waited to read after I started the book.
Armada is a rollicking, surprising thriller, a classic coming of age adventure, and an alien invasion tale like nothing you’ve ever read before-one whose every page in infused with the pop-culture savvy that has helped make Ready Player One a phenomenon.

*gags*

Not only do we have continuous pop culture forced down our throat at ever possible moment. You also must throw in every cliche known to young adult books on top of that. I did not finish this book but so far into it I saw the whole bullying storyline, single mom/dead dad, lonely boy who is going to be the hero, and insta-loving. As a matter of fact the insta-loving is when I said to hell with this book. I actually gritted my teeth it was so bad.

Then, as if that weren’t lame enough, I added, “I’m not old enough to drink, anyway.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “They’re about to tell us that the world is ending, you realize?” she said. “You don’t want to be stone-cold sober for that shit, do you?”
“You make a compelling argument,” I said, taking the flask from her.
As I raised it to my lips, she began to chant, “Breakin’-the-law-breakin’-the-law.”

I did get some stuff done while reading this book though. I cleaned my entire house, I even cleaned drama kitties litter box. It was way more fun than this book. And my ass is lazy.

Book source: Blogging for books in exchange for review.

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One thought on “Armada by Ernest Cline

  1. Hilarious review. I loved Ready Player One so I stil have high hopes for this one. I think I would enjoy the pop culture references (Ready Player One had a gaming references in every other page as well) the only thing I could see bothering me is insta-love and the YA tropes not being put to good use.

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